The holiday season can be especially difficult for newly divorced parents, or parents who were never married and share custody arrangements. What is often portrayed as a time of family togetherness may instead invoke feelings of loss or loneliness when your children are spending the holidays with the other parent. However, this doesn’t have to define your experience. The alternative is to reclaim the season and find joy, connection—and even a fresh start—during this time.
Acknowledge the Emotional Challenge
For newly single parents, the first holiday season without your children can bring a wave of emotions, from profound sadness to pangs of frustration. First, recognize that these feelings are valid. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a relationship, or adjusting to a loss of normalcy brought on by a new family dynamic, giving yourself permission to feel and process is the first step to healing and acclimating to a new normal.
Create New Traditions That Reflect Your Life Now
This is a chance to redefine the holidays on your own terms. Embrace activities that align with your current reality. Instead of dwelling on what you have lost, you can put energy toward productive and rewarding activities such as volunteering, spending time with close friends, or treating yourself to something special. Even small, simple traditions like enjoying a favorite holiday movie, or baking cookies for yourself can provide comfort and a sense of control.
Stay Connected with Your Children
Technology is your ally when you’re apart from your children. Schedule video calls, send messages, or share holiday photos to stay connected and be involved in their celebrations. You could even open presents together virtually or make plans for a special holiday celebration once they return. These small, but meaningful gestures help maintain your bond and create continuity, even when apart.
Build a Support Network
Reach out to friends or family members who understand your situation. Many single parents experience similar feelings during the holidays and can understand you on a level that others in your support system may not be able to. Whether it’s a quiet dinner with a close friend or joining a support group for single parents, connecting with others can ease feelings of isolation and help you build a sense of community.
Focus on Self-Care and Your Personal Growth
During your respite from the hustle of parenting duties, the holidays can become an opportunity to focus on your needs and reconnect with yourself. Reflect on what brings you joy and vitality—whether it’s starting a new fitness routine, journaling, or simply enjoying some quiet time. Your well-being is essential not only for you, but for your children, too.
Keep Perspective
Know that the absence of your children during the holidays is temporary. Remind yourself that you’re adjusting to a new normal, and while this year might feel especially hard, future holidays will come with new opportunities. Whether it’s better scheduling, shared traditions, or growth in your co-parenting relationship, the current pain doesn’t have to define the rest of your life.
Plan for the Future
Use this time to think about the long term. Communicate with your co-parent to consider how future holidays can be balanced and more mutually beneficial. Planning ahead can make next year feel less uncertain and more fulfilling.
Seek Professional Support When Necessary
If the loneliness feels too heavy, consider working with a therapist who specializes in family transitions. Adjusting to single parenting or navigating co-parenting relationships during the holidays can be emotionally exhausting, and professional guidance can provide valuable tools for managing this transition in a healthy way.
Summary: Navigating the Holidays as a Newly Divorced or Single Parent
For newly divorced parents and single parents who never married, the holidays can bring a mix of emotions, from sadness to encouragement through resilience. By creating new traditions, staying connected with your children, and focusing on your personal growth, you can begin to redefine what the holidays mean for you. Remember, you’re far from alone, and each mindful step you take establishes a foundation for a brighter and more fulfilling future—versus dwelling on what has been lost.